Hi Friends!
Mom guilt—it’s something that most of us experience at some point. Recently, I found myself feeling guilty over a decision I made that should’ve been a positive one. It wasn’t just about the decision, though—it was the weight of those nagging feelings, the pressure we face as moms to always be there for everyone else. I’ve got a story to share, and I hope it helps you feel less alone in this.
Next month, I’m heading out to visit family and see a play. It’s a solo trip, something I’ve been looking forward to because, let’s face it, I need some time just for me. Originally, we were supposed to have a weekend together with all the kids, but those plans fell through. Then, my cousin had a great idea—why not bring my daughter along? Another cousin would watch her while I went to the play. On paper, it sounded perfect: efficient use of time, gas, and it would give my daughter a fun weekend too.
But here’s the thing—I need this weekend away. I don’t want to be sitting at the play worrying if my daughter’s okay or stressing about whether she’s having fun without me. So, I politely said no, even though it seemed like the “perfect” plan.
Everyone I’ve talked to has agreed with me and supported my need to take this time for myself. But the guilt? It still creeps in. I feel like I’m depriving her of a family weekend, or worse, being selfish by prioritizing my needs. I know that I’ll probably still feel that guilt during my trip, but that doesn’t mean it’s valid—and it doesn’t mean I need to change my plans because of it.
I’m starting to think there’s no shortcut around mom guilt. It’s not something you can avoid; you have to work through it. And I don’t mean wallow in it or let it weigh you down. I mean acknowledge it, name it, and remind yourself that this guilt is often a result of unrealistic societal expectations. You deserve to have time for yourself, to do things that aren’t tied to being a mom, and to take care of your own needs. Yes, even solo trips and quiet time—those are important too.
Tips for Letting Go of Mom Guilt and Finding Balance
Here are three practical tips that have helped me find more balance and ease the grip of mom guilt:
- Prioritize Without Perfection
We often feel guilty when things aren’t perfectly done—whether it’s a messy house, an incomplete to-do list, or feeling like we’re falling short. But life is full of trade-offs. Instead of trying to do everything, focus on what really matters. Create a “Must-Do” list with 3-5 key tasks for the day. This keeps things manageable and lets you be productive without burning yourself out. Plus, it leaves room for life’s inevitable surprises. - Create a Flexible Routine
Routines can be a game-changer, but they don’t have to be set in stone. Build one that gives you structure while allowing flexibility. For example, having a morning or evening routine that includes some “me time” helps balance caregiving and self-care. You’ll feel less guilty about “not doing enough” because you’ve intentionally made space for the essentials—and for yourself. - Embrace Delegation and Shared Responsibility
You don’t have to do it all. Delegating household tasks or organizing family responsibilities can help share the load. This prevents burnout and helps let go of the guilt that comes with asking for help. You’re also teaching your family about teamwork, which helps create balance and allows you to focus on what really matters. - Talk About the Guilt—Don’t Let It Fester
- One of the worst things we can do with mom guilt is to let it sit inside us, silently beating us down with negative self-talk. It’s so easy to let that guilt take root and make us feel like we’re not enough, that we’re failing somehow. But here’s the truth—you don’t have to carry that weight alone. Open up to your partner, a close friend, or someone who truly gets you, and just say it out loud: “I’m feeling this guilt.” I promise, 90% of the time, they’re going to tell you there’s absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. Whether you’re taking time for yourself, letting go of perfection, or just making space for your own needs, you’re not being selfish. You’re being human. Getting that outside perspective and reassurance can be such a game-changer. It helps to hear from someone you trust that you’re doing your best, and that your best is more than enough. Sometimes, all it takes is a kind word from someone who understands to break the cycle of guilt and help you give yourself the grace you deserve.
It’s easy to get caught up in feeling guilty or focusing on what didn’t go as planned, but it’s important to celebrate your wins, big and small. Did you take five minutes to enjoy a cup of coffee in peace? Celebrate that! Start a gratitude journal where you can jot down the little moments when you prioritized your needs or embraced balance. Acknowledging your progress can help shift the focus from guilt to self-appreciation, fostering emotional well-being.
Take the time to also reflect on how balancing your needs with your family’s creates a healthier, happier home for everyone involved. When you’re emotionally recharged, you’re better able to show up for the ones you love. Remember, giving yourself grace is a victory too.
Letting go of mom guilt is a process. It’s not going to disappear overnight, but with some intention, you can shift your mindset. By prioritizing yourself, creating flexible routines, and delegating tasks, you’ll start finding balance. Remember, guilt doesn’t define your worth as a mom or a person. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s more than enough.
How do you handle mom guilt? Have you found any strategies that help you balance productivity and self-care? I’d love to hear your thoughts—drop a comment below or send me a message!
If you’re not sure how to implement these strategies – set up a call!!
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Stay tuned for next week’s POP Talk!
